


My Love, Take Your Time

by Mysterycheerio



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, College Student Peter Parker, Dead People, Engagement, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Guns, Harvard University, Hurt Michelle Jones, Hurt Peter Parker, MIT Era, Marriage Proposal, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Mugging, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Sad, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27334372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysterycheerio/pseuds/Mysterycheerio
Summary: peter and tony haven't talked since the homecoming fiasco, and now peters nineteen, in college, and dating michelle (all of the events of ffh happened, without the hoco suit).peters ready to take back his suit, at least in tonys eyes, but why won't he? and why is he so quiet?-𝘔𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦(title from The World Was Wide Enough - Lin Manuel Miranda, Leslie Odom Jr. & Original Company Of Hamilton)
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 68





	My Love, Take Your Time

**Author's Note:**

> alt title. And When You Smile, I Know A Part Of Her Lives On (I Know I Can Go On)  
> from Dear Theodosia Reprise.
> 
> anywaysss hi, tw: guns, violence, death

It had been months. Months since Tony wanted to see him, and yet, here he has a text, asking him to visit the compound. He doesn’t know if May has talked to him or if he’s giving the suit back, but he doesn’t care cause it’s been months but it feels like days and it all passes by in a flurry of movement and a cascade of emotions which is so much, it feels like nothing at all.

He doesn’t speak to her when she tries to make small talk, partly because he just doesn’t know how. The last time he had spoken to her was at the hospital, before completely dissolving into tears. Some part of him wants to apologise, to say a million things all at once that he hadn’t said to her before but just can’t find the words for it. The other part of him knows the punishment for speaking too much, and isn’t willing to be hurt anymore.

May visits a couple times a day to coax him out of his room and to try and get him to eat, all attempts so far unsuccessful. When Peter shows her the text wordlessly, she jumps at the opportunity and calls Tony immediately, telling him that Peter will be there this weekend.

She doesn’t mention the thin chain that now permanently sits on his neck as he fiddles nervously with the ‘charm’.

Two days go by and it’s Saturday, and Happy is knocking on the door, in all his annoyed glory. May is smiling cheerily at Happy, but it seems plastic to Peter, behind him, and pushes him out of the house while he still grips onto his backpack straps, looking more like a child than the nineteen-almost-twenty year old that he’s supposed to be.

Happy notices his complete lack of greeting, and as he hears the door close, he says gently, more gently than Peter’s heard for the entire five years he’s known him, “C'mon Kid, let’s get you into the car.”

It’s almost as if May’s told him about that night but he knows she hasn’t cause no one knows what happened that night except him, her and Ned and both May and Ned would never tell anyone what happened.

The car ride was long. Queens to Upper Manhattan was a long drive, so he sat back, and let himself succumb to the intoxicating numbness that clouded his mind nowadays. He knew Happy was asking questions, and shooting worried glances, but soon he was absolutely nothing, which is what he liked to be. No pain for nothingness.

Happy opened the door and he stepped out, looking at the massive Avengers ‘A' but no longer revelling in the feeling of awe. They walked up to Tony’s lab and Peter took a deep breath – not bothering to mask his feelings like he used to but knowing it would take a lot of mental strength to power through this anyways. The lab held memories, and memories meant pain.

The door opened and he heard Happy say, “Boss, the kid is here to see you.”

Tony turned around and smiled, and it made Peter want to cry. “Hey kid. Come here.”

He obeyed silently and Happy left.

“Hi, Peter. It’s been a while.”

_NO!_

He nodded, “Yes, sir.”

_No, no, no, no....no, no, no, please!_

Tony frowned. “Anyway, I have your suit here. I’ve been told I have to give it back to you.”

Peter gulped, “You can keep it sir. If you don’t think I’m ready, you should keep it.” _I won’t ever be ready,_ he thought privately. The thought of donning the Spider-Man suit made him feel nauseous – he knew he couldn’t be Spider-Man again.

Tony’s concern seemed to deepen, and he set down the suit he had in his hands on the desk. “Okay, what’s up. Normally, you’re talking a mile a minute-" Peter cringed, “-but you’re barely talking, and now you’re saying you don’t want the suit back! What happened to the kid who fought me tooth and nail for the Spidey suit?”

 _He’s dead,_ Peter thought _, He died the same night she did._

He doesn’t tell Tony that.

“I don’t know, Mr. Stark. But I think you should keep it.”

Peter was walking towards the door when Tony said, “But... You’re Spider-Man?”

_Wait... You’re Spider-Man!_

He could feel his breath hitch and quicken. No, no! Not in front of Tony! His knees gave way when he tried to take another step, and soon he was on his knees, hand on the floor, hyperventilating. He could hear Tony’s sneakers tapping gently as he jogged urgently towards him.

“Peter, are you okay?”

“Does it...l-look like I’m fucking okay?” He breathed.

“Yeah, sorry. Stupid question. Hey, copy my breathing, okay?” He put a hand on Peter’s chest, putting Peter’s hand on his, then took slow, purposeful breaths so Peter could copy, and soon enough, the younger breathing evened out.

“Care to tell me what that’s about?”

Peter sighed, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hand.

* * *

_20th December._

_Six months, 23 days and 15 hours prior._

Peter had just collected his bag, fresh from the plane when Michelle jumped on him, laughing. She wore a big, fluffy coat and a snowy beanie, while also sporting distinguished ankle boots.

They had both come back to Queens from their respective College’s, MJ's being Harvard and Peter’s being MIT. Their relationship had lasted over four years, the last few month being long distance, and the couple was excited to see each other.

She jumped off his back then hugged him, her nose burying into his neck. “Hi, Em.”

“Hi, Pete.”

“Missed you.”

“Likewise, loser.”

They stopped by May’s who was excited to see them both again. Peter took a shower while MJ had a cup of tea with May and caught up.

By the time it was six in the evening, Peter and MJ were determined on going to a restaurant, said restaurant being McDonald’s (they were poor college students and McDonald’s was somewhat edible. Let them live.).

While MJ retrieved their coats from her boyfriend’s closet, said boyfriend turned to the drawer in the desk. He pulled out a small ring box. May knew he was going to propose at some point, and he’d already asked MJ's father when he went to visit her house several weeks ago. He was saving it for Christmas break.

They ate their McDonald’s, laughing at memes Peter had saved that he knew MJ would like, and discussed their courses, and how well they were doing in University.

After, they started to walk to the town square, where an Ice Skating tent had been put up for the holiday season. This is where he planned to propose.

They were passing an alley when MJ was grabbed and yanked back, a mugger pointing a gun at her temple. MJ wasn’t afraid to show emotion with Peter, but was trying (keyword, _trying_ ) to keep the terror off her face while he stared down the man.

“Gimme your wallets or she gets it!”

Terrified, and not wanting to reveal his identity (not that he had the Spider-Man suit), he said, “Yeah, sure, just let her go.”

The man didn’t falter, and Peter sighed, reaching for his wallet in his back pocket. “Y'know, maybe you should get a day job, something that’s not illegal,” he heard himself quip, his coping mechanism taking over.

 _Bang_.

Blood splatted against his face, and the mugger, somewhat shocked, backed away slowly. Miraculously, the gun must have been facing away from her head, but now blood was gushing from her chest.

“NO!” He yelled, raw and emotional, “and he webbed up the criminal, who made a small shout of _Wait...You’re Spider-Man!_ Before he was promptly knocked out in the space of two seconds.

He dropped to his knees, now cradling a dying MJ. Her face was already pale and there was a small sheen of sweat lacing her forehead.

“No, no, no, no,” he said, holding her head and crying at how weak she was, “No, no, no, please!”

“Hey loser,” she croaked, smiling, although it seemed forced, “Time to check out.”

“No, Emmie, we have all this stuff we have to do!” She let out a humourless huff. Pedestrians were gathering around them as a result of the gunshot, and he yelled desperately in their general direction, “Somebody call an ambulance, please!”

Michelle’s eyes had fluttered to a close and Peter kissed her forehead gently, “MJ stay with me, please!”

“It’s okay,” she said, her voice a whisper, barely audible.

“I love you,” he sobbed, hysterical.

“I love you too.”

Peter was cradling a corpse by the time the paramedics arrived.

An hour later, Peter was sat in the hospital, in one of those uncomfortable chairs outside a room, the room which held MJ's cold body. May was already sat beside him, holding a hand that had been scrubbed clean of her blood, but not really, cause it never really leaves. His head is resting on her shoulder, tearless for now, but shocked into silence until finally he asks the question he needs to.

“Well... Aunt May...” He dug into his coat pocket, pulled the ring box out and took out the engagement ring inside, “This used to be your ring,” she puts her hand to her mouth as she tries to muffle the whimpers, “What do I do with it now?”

* * *

Peter told this story to Tony, who looked sad.

He reached into his shirt and pulled out the chain, showing off the gold band, with three white diamonds on the middle.

“I was going to ask her to marry me.”

They say nothing for a while, and the silence is broken by Peter’s sobs. They wrack his body painfully, and Tony pulls him in for a hug. Any problems they had to work through, any resentment for the radio silence for those months were pushed to the side as Peter sobbed, lamenting the loss of the woman he never got to call his wife, and the ending he wished he could have.

**Author's Note:**

> yell at me in the comments :)


End file.
